I’m back. With another realization, of course. Simple, yet so profound.
Not gonna lie, I was totally caught off-guard last week. I had two interactions that lit up something in my head. I was attending a professional development session when I learned there was a life coach coming in to share the wisdom he’s accumulated over the years from working closely with founders and CEOs. In case you don’t already know this, mental health is my second name. I go around urging people to seek therapists and life coaches, to the point that it’s become a joke amongst my family and friends.
To no one’s surprise, I ran after the life coach as soon as he got off the podium. I approached him hurriedly, and even before introducing myself, I quickly asked if he can advise me on how to seek-out a mentor or a life coach. He listened to me attentively as I complained for two minutes about my youthfulness and the lack of idols or mentors in my life. I went on and on about my struggles and how badly I need someone to help me unleash my potential. He looked at me softly and very calmly proceeded to suggest that maybe I was paying too much attention to external guides and had not been paying enough attention to the voices of my body and my mind. I felt a rush of energy flowing through my body as his words echoed in my head. I wanted to ask a million follow-up questions but was interrupted by the announcement of the next segment. I kept my thoughts to myself and carried out my day.
Only moments later, I found myself in the midst of an intense heart-to-heart discussion with a peer. I unveiled my traumas and shared my pains around my feelings of lack of belonging. She attentively listened and showed endless signs of engagement and empathy. As soon as she had a moment to speak, she looked me straight in the eye with a piercing gaze and asked: “Do you consider yourself a confident person?” I felt like I was just hit by a lightning bolt. Nobody had really asked me that question so seriously and boldly before. As someone who had emitted an aura of confidence as a teenager, I realized that the aura that I put up was built on constructed narratives that I wasn’t sure I even believed. Seemingly, others were able to see through these narratives too. It became evident to me in that moment that I had not been trusting my body and mind, therefore was unable to use my internal compass as my primary source of navigation. No wonder I’d been feeling unconfident.
Thanks to my peer and the life coach I encountered, I was reminded of the importance of trusting my inner voices of wisdom. It took an outward source to remind me to go inward. I guess that’s the irony of it all…